Ask the Answer B!tch

How many people does an A-list celebrity typically employ?
—J.S.

The care and feeding of celebrities requires two breeds of minion. The household help—cooks, nannies, butlers—usually work directly for the star. The satellite people—lawyers, nutritionists, trainers, publicists, agents—work for themselves and charge an hourly or monthly rate.

But exactly how much assistance a star needs depends on how rich and fabulous—or fertile—he or she is. Brangelina and their We-Are-the-World peanut gallery have different needs than, say, Beyoncé and Jay-Z, who have only two—albeit hefty—egos to feed.

Follow me past the jump, and I'll tell you exactly how many lackeys are required in both kinds of households—plus the minion count for a third, mystery diva.

My info comes from the editors at Celeb Staff magazine, a publication that does nothing but cover the people who serve the stars. (Note: The mag is associated with Celebrity Staffing Services, which works with many a famous face. In fact the editors seemed to know some very specific data about Brangelina, Beyoncé, Jay-Z, Mariah Carey and their households, but when I asked directly whether they have staffed those homes, they declined to "confirm or deny.")

Before we go any further: Each famous adult typically has at least one lawyer, bodyguard, agent, business manager and publicist. Beyond that:

Scenario 1. Brangelina

Estimated minion count: at least nine. We're talking three to four nannies, not including a special nurse just for the newborn or newborns who are on the way. Two housekeepers are also standard for a crew of this size, along with at least one chef and two traveling personal assistants. And that doesn't even count the executive assistants who work for a star's businesses, a magazine editor tells me.

Scenario 2. Beyoncé and Jay-Z

Estimated minion count: at least five. As jet-setters, such power couples usually need at least two housekeepers, plus personal assistants to stay on top of schedules and travel. Such scenarios typically involve a locally recruited houseperson or butler to serve whatever remote home they happen to grace that week. The butler is kind of an every-servant, grocery shopping for the chef, serving food, packing and unpacking luggage and coordinating with the rest of the couple's staff.

Scenario 3. Mariah

Estimated minion count: at least six. She may be one woman, but a diva like her typically requires two assistants, I am told. Also likely: a—get this—lady-in-waiting, better known as a "lady's maid," who lays out clothes, fetches beverages or does the packing. Two separate housekeepers are also typical superstar accessories, plus a formal butler to greet visitors, answer phone calls and serve guests. Also de rigueur: a chef on staff, to maintain that killer shape.

Well, duh. After all, Mariah does have to hoist around that giant new diamond from Nick Cannon.

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