Something's not adding up on Maxim's "ultimate list of the world’s most beautiful women.”

Case in point: Ashley Tisdale or Angelina Jolie? Tisdale or Gisele Bündchen? Tisdale or Tina Fey?

It’s no contest: Tisdale is No. 10 on the list, while Jolie, Bündchen and Fey don’t even make it. No offense to Sharpay, but something is wrong here. (We will, however, applaud G4's Olivia Munn at 99.)

As well, the editors clearly never forgot their first piece of American Pie, putting not one but two slices of the movie's cast on the list: cover girl Shannon Elizabeth and the inexplicable Mena Suvari. Had they included the divine Alyson Hannigan, we might have forgiven them, but...

This all seems so random. Why not add that girl you totally liked in junior high as well? Who knows, maybe she might call you now.

Also, we know it’s a list of hot ladies, but did the thesaurus up and quit ? How else to explain:

Elisha Cuthbert: "Hotter than a bowl of kimchi” (Note to Maxim: Yes, kimchi’s hot, but have you ever smelled this dish of spicy, fermented cabbage? It's not a compliment.)

Eva Longoria Parker: "Hotter than a truckload of jalapeños.” (Please.)

Sarah Michelle Gellar: "The sexiest vampire slayer this side of Van Helsing has never been hotter.” (Does this mean they think Hugh Jackman in a leather coat is sexier? Which list is this?)

With prose like this, you'd almost think Maxim doesn't expect subscribers to read this issue but will be content to simply drool over the pictures.

Oh...right.